The Last Word.....

So that's it! We're done. Finished. Finito. What a five weeks it's been. Amy and myself have journied across continents and through the rainbow of emotions; joy to embarrassment, embarrassment to despair, despair to frustration and back again. We blinked and the weeks were gone, yet sometimes it progressed so slowly, agonisingly awaiting the next Posho dinner (puke). But it's over now and all we can do is reflect.

I blush when people congratulate us on what we did in Africa. PLEASE! We were not saving the world, curing diseases or feeding the starved (well not all the time), really we were nothing more than glorified childminders, cooing over our little babes, trying to explain what "germination" was or how to divide fractions (Thank heavens for calculators). We did not arrive home blowing our trumpets on the good work we did, or the differences we've made. Did we enjoy Africa? Yes. Was is what we expected? No. Who can tell if we made a difference in their lives? Selfishly we know we've made differences in ours. Maybe you wonder why I say "selfishly"? perhaps we, as western volunteers, are the problem.

Let me explain. I'll take you back to the day that I rushed amy to hospital with Malaria The was an old English doctor there(who was married to an Irish woman), he was a sarcastic, almost synical man with a dry humour warped by the decade he had spent in Africa. Curtiously he was enquiring about our vocation here in Uganda and we described the kids we were wrking with. The doctor scoffed, stating "you should have went for babies, they're much cuter for photographs to show people back home". At the time we laughed, later realising it wasn't a joke but a stark realisation of why people volunteer in Africa. Do we do it for the people who need us, ourselves or just to say we've done it?

Maybe you've wondered why we haven't said much about our children? Honestly they're no different to children in Ireland, America or anywhere else we've worked with kids. Naively we expected them to be extra appreciative, in comparison to children at home. But why would they be when they have no parent figures except the short-term foreigners who impose themselves upon the home for a couple of weeks at a time, giving, giving, giving until they have wiped their conscious clean with generosity. Then they depart, and with them whatever discipline they implemented. Is it any wonder these children are masters of deception, so clever, wrapping you aroung their little finger. Don't get us wrong, we loved the children, genuinely we do, but it was a daily struggle, biting your tongue to not blurt out something you'll regret. It's surprising what will push you over the edge when you are far from your creature comforts, sometimes they would go out of their way to upset you, taunt you and ridicule you (Amazingly, its easy to know when someone is talking about you, even in a foreign language). When we become Freud and try to pyschoanalyse the behaviours, it seems to be a self-preservation issue. These children have been rejected, most still have one parent still alive but have been sent here because of poverty or maybe their remaining parent has remarried. It's the kinda stuff that puts that lump in the back of your throat, seeing a child hurt and shunned from their family, why were they the child that was sent away, while their siblings remained. This is why these children maintain a tough exterior, shooting anyone down who dares to get close. Myself and Amy will admit that this was very difficult for us to understand. The children rule the walls with no boundaries, gates with no limits, standing on foundations with no stability.

How would we describe Africa? A beautifully corrupt land where the hunger stricken and rich fat cats live as neighbours, bleeding into eachother, each complaining that the other is the problem. Money is the root of all evils and we believe it! How can Africa lose it's third world status when it continually shoots itself in the horn. Corrupt governments and police forces, where people talk with money, have "lovely" workers who will fall over themselves to help you, because you are white and therefore MUST be rich. We know that you have to be ignorant or unseasoned to think this doesn't happen everywhere, but it's hard to ignore when it's hammered in your face when you walk down the street.
We have been lucky enough to meet some genuinely kind and honest people here, but it's like scattered seeds amongst the thorny branches that physically harass you everytime you walk anywhere.

Perhaps we've painted Africa negatively but we can truthfully say our Africa Adventure has been a positive one. We learned an exceptional amount about other's cultures and beliefs, how to handle troublesome teens (Sorry parents for our teenage years!) and also personally, about ourselves. Did we enjoy Africa? Yes. Was it what we expected? No...................it was better <3

This Thursday myself and Amy had our first "Irish experience" in Uganda. We went to a pub quiz in Bubbles o Learys! We failed miserably!! And we were very disappointed that there were no other Irish there :( but we still really enjoyed it! Having to wake up at haf 6 the next morning to give the kids their vitamins and toothbrushes- we didn't enjoy so much!
OUR LAST WEEK :(
So we took the kids out to a restaurant and they had a buffet of their favourite foods. The smiles on their faces was priceless (because they eat posho three times daily). They all got dressed up and looked very cute!

On Monday we had chapati (kinda like fried tortillas) With eggs. Dinner is usually at haf 7. Because we had to knead, roll and fry over 100 of them (on a fire I might add). Guess what time we got to eat............. 11 O CLOCK!!!! Sickened to be us, most of the poor kiddies went to bed and got up when it was ready because (as usual) thepower wasoff!! SOMEONE SACK THE MAITRON! Haha but it was good fun all the same!

And so this is our penultimate post..... Tune in next time kids ....x

What an eventful week!

Amy almost died of Malaria…….. So a worried Nicola jumps in a Special Hire and whisks Amy away to hospital. Here, - wearing no Make-up, having not showered in an amount of days I am not willing to disclose, and wearing practically our pyjamas – we were taken “care” of by a young good-looking Canadian doctor (I say good looking, what I mean is that we haven’t seen any talent in 4 weeks). Worriedly waiting in the waiting room, I’m secretly cursing Amy for me being here looking like this and the fated test results return and……

It turns out that Amy just had a bad case of the runs.

Saturday 9^th July was a day that will go down in history in Africa, and myself and Amy felt particularly honoured to be so close to the festivities. A special day, enjoyed by many……

BULA children’s home had CHICKEN FOR DINNER!!! At around 9 in the morning the cooking began with the arrival of around 9 chickens on the back of a bicycle. REAL. ALIVE. CHICKENS. From here the boys proceeded to pluck them ALIVE. Before chopping their heads off…… how humane! Some of the other kids that live here (but are in boarding school) visited, so there were around 40 of us in the house…..HECTIC!  We had some feast, at like 4pm, having not ate anything all day, we didn’t care how anything was killed, WE WERE HUNGRY! So Saturday 9^th was a very special day……

Awh yeah and Sudan became two countries , no big deal.

The feast continued on Sunday, including battering 2 piñatas, and laughing watching the kids scramble for the sweets (secretly wishing we could be down there grabbing what we could). For the rest of the evening (after the other kids returned to boarding school) the home kids were bouncing off the walls. FUN TIMES.

On Tuesday we got to travel to the Equator, you know that imaginary line that halves the WORLD, that only goes through a meager  10 countries, Yeah we were there! It’s really just a couple of stone rings marking North and South and a load of stalls in the middle of nowhere. But a seriously small world that we met a group of people from Armagh/Cork! We were afraid we would have no transport back to Kampala, a 2 hour drive away, but alas first Matatu that passed wasn’t full!!!! HALLELUJAH!

Now entering our last week, Amy and I have already compiled a list of what indulgences we will be feasting on in the car ride home………………………x

Riding on the back of a Vibrating plate from Jinja to Kampala

So this weekend past we visited Father Divine’s Love Ministries in Jinja, which is a home that caters for over 50 orphaned children. The American girls we are volunteering with were at this home last summer and invited us to come along. David, the founder, is a local pastor who set up FDLM after the death of his brother. His brother, on his deathbed, asked David to look after his children. After what had happened David felt compelled to continue with this work, caring for other orphaned children. The home is so different to our home in Kampala, but they all have the same ethos; to care for kids who have no one to care for them.

Jinja is about 75km east of Kampala, and lies at the source of the Nile River. We arrived early on Saturday and received a warm welcome of hugs from all the kids. Jinja is much more rural than Kampala, is as green as Donegal, except the sun was shining (we heard that your good weather is over…haha!) At lunch time we were introduced to Rolex’s (kinda like a breakfast burrito…..only better), it’s safe to say we’re hooked. As there was some renovation work going on, we picked up our brushes and began painting! After a long day of painting and playing with the children, we ate our “Irish” potatoes (that were cooked with egg!) and hit the hay.

The next morning, we had the best breakfast we had since arriving in Uganda; omelette and chips! We needed it, because unknown to us, we were about to sit through a marathon church service of almost 4 hours!!!!!!!!!!!! Myself and Amy almost had a heartattack (no hyperbole!) when we were asked to come up the front and introduce ourselves….AGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH Apparently Ugandan’s don’t get embarrassed.

A perfect culmination to the weekend was our visit to Bujagali Falls; a series of waterfalls/rapids on the Nile river. We even got to witness some eejit surfing down the rapids on an oil drum! Crazy Africans!

And so we were back on our Matato to Kampala, a ride that should hae taken around 2 hours, HOWEVER our driver decided to take a “shortcut” through forests and dirt “roads”. It was rougher than any rollercoaster we had ever been on, almost rolling maybe 3 times. We were going to bypass to the hospital to check for internal bleeding! But all you can do is laugh…..x

POTATO

So we've had our first taste of "irish" potatoes, they cook it here with tomatoes and onions frying them instead of boiling but they tasted goooooooood, but then again anything from eating poshu 24/7 is good.

We went to a big Gospel church in the city on sunday, it was like a concert, with cameras, and lighting, huge choir, slightly different to the church we usually attend on a sunday. There was a queue to get in an there was probably over 1,000 there!

When I told one of the kids that I would be teaching him and 170 other kids MATHS (yes I know, me teaching maths...no jk) he laughed and laughed and LAUGHED, and I asked why was that so funny and he said it was because the kids all laughed at me coz they thought I was an old lady because of my hair! Confidence booster!

Two days ago there was a Lightning storm that went on for hours, and Amy laughed at me for taking out my headphones (because I was afraid to get electrified, serious my hair is frizzy enough out here) and then we heard 22 people were killed in the storm.....EEK! Everywhere was flooded because it rained so heavy, and we complain about the rain in Ireland!

Amy feels like she is back at primary school again, when shes correcting the books, shes learning herself!!

This weekend we are heading to Jinja (in East Uganda) to visit the Nile and the beautiful waterfalls there. We are staying at another orphanage FDLM. So next post we can give you all the goss from our trip....x

33 tips for 33 days- Guide for Muzoongus to understand Uganda……

1.    Don’t yawn unless you’re hungry (yes we don’t get it either)
2.   Expect to pay twice the local price……sure we are Muzoongus, we MUST be rich…HA!
3.   Women don’t whistle…. They just don’t (this is very hard to remember)
4.   If you have blonde hair, it will be called grey and they will think you are a granny!
5.   If you are on life-support, don’t count on reliable electricity
6.   Expect to have several near-death experiences every time you walk ANYWHER
7.   Don’t think you will sleep alone, you will probably be sharing your bed with a menagerie of life- mosquitoes, spiders, MICE!
8.   Get over your self-consciousness- at any one time probably one million people WILL be staring at you
9.   Beans twice a day and it’s not going anywhere……..
10.   Don’t worry if you can’t remember all your pupil’s names, because there’s roughly 170 of them- all  wearing the same thing!
11.   You will eat the same thing every meal, everyday, FACT!
12.   Your alarm clock is 13 kids screaming “sister, sister” at 6am
13.   There’s no such thing as personal space
14.   Expect to not understand anything people say……even when speaking your language
15.   If you’re white, you MUST be from America
16.   The best thing on TV is a Spanish soap opera that is translated into English and then Luganda
17.   The main evening News will include headlines on why women carry handbags
18.   When it rains the world will stop
19.   Americans have time, Africans keep time (PAH!)
20.   The dog’s sing night-time lullabies (i.e. howl) LITERALLY ALL NIGHT
21.   Drying your underwear outside is a big NO NO
22.   Personal hygiene is not a priority
23.   Squatty Potty A.K.A I’ll hold it
24.   African Tea consists of one teabag, boiling water, and 15 TEASPOONS OF SUGAR!
25.   Irish potatoes are NOT IRISH
26.   Never wear white, it won’t be that colour for long
27.   Think you’re tanned? go wash, it’s probably dirt……
28.   “You’re my size”- Uganga’s men’s cheesiest chat-up-line
29.   Doxy Dreams (Malaria tablets)- You may want to consult a psychiatrist when you go home
30.   Posho- Taste= 0, Nutrition= 0 and Calories= 1 million!
31.   Sunday mass is 4 hours long!
32.   Apparently, according to Oxford Publishers; Ireland is primarily Hindu!?
33.   In spite of the various differences and (ahem) inconveniences; you are still guaranteed a life-changing experience, that you’ll never forget :)

First day at school....

Monday was our first day of school, Mengo Primary school. In primary there was 2/3 people in my class, Amy was in a class of 8. Monday, one of my classes had 89 and the other 83, in one small classroom! EEK! Amy's class had 73. The children attend school from 7.30am until 5.30 pm, yet they only have about 2 classes a day. Because of the large class numbers work is slow pace, and what they would learn in a day we may have covered in an hour. However we must remember that school is taught in English, which isnt their first language.

After school we ventured once again into the City (and almost got squished by a lorry). We met some locals that are friends of the volunteers and then went to the craft fair, which hosted a vast amount of hand-made souvenirs. That night we went to an outside concert at the national theatre of all kinds of music, Tom Jones to Reggae. It felt weird because the ratio of Mazoongu to locals was about 30:70, when usually it is about 1:1000. That night we stayed at one of the volunteers friend's house and I had my first experience of a "squatty potty". I'll not go into details there. On the matatu home, locals tried selling us a plethora of items in the windows-from sweets to bulbs and everything in between. For a country that uses English as it's official language, sometimes they just understand NO! We arrived home with some new bug bites, tired but excited to see the kids again.

We are going to try and upload some pictures so you can see the kids and where we are. We cannot believe we are almost a week here.......x