33 tips for 33 days- Guide for Muzoongus to understand Uganda……

1.    Don’t yawn unless you’re hungry (yes we don’t get it either)
2.   Expect to pay twice the local price……sure we are Muzoongus, we MUST be rich…HA!
3.   Women don’t whistle…. They just don’t (this is very hard to remember)
4.   If you have blonde hair, it will be called grey and they will think you are a granny!
5.   If you are on life-support, don’t count on reliable electricity
6.   Expect to have several near-death experiences every time you walk ANYWHER
7.   Don’t think you will sleep alone, you will probably be sharing your bed with a menagerie of life- mosquitoes, spiders, MICE!
8.   Get over your self-consciousness- at any one time probably one million people WILL be staring at you
9.   Beans twice a day and it’s not going anywhere……..
10.   Don’t worry if you can’t remember all your pupil’s names, because there’s roughly 170 of them- all  wearing the same thing!
11.   You will eat the same thing every meal, everyday, FACT!
12.   Your alarm clock is 13 kids screaming “sister, sister” at 6am
13.   There’s no such thing as personal space
14.   Expect to not understand anything people say……even when speaking your language
15.   If you’re white, you MUST be from America
16.   The best thing on TV is a Spanish soap opera that is translated into English and then Luganda
17.   The main evening News will include headlines on why women carry handbags
18.   When it rains the world will stop
19.   Americans have time, Africans keep time (PAH!)
20.   The dog’s sing night-time lullabies (i.e. howl) LITERALLY ALL NIGHT
21.   Drying your underwear outside is a big NO NO
22.   Personal hygiene is not a priority
23.   Squatty Potty A.K.A I’ll hold it
24.   African Tea consists of one teabag, boiling water, and 15 TEASPOONS OF SUGAR!
25.   Irish potatoes are NOT IRISH
26.   Never wear white, it won’t be that colour for long
27.   Think you’re tanned? go wash, it’s probably dirt……
28.   “You’re my size”- Uganga’s men’s cheesiest chat-up-line
29.   Doxy Dreams (Malaria tablets)- You may want to consult a psychiatrist when you go home
30.   Posho- Taste= 0, Nutrition= 0 and Calories= 1 million!
31.   Sunday mass is 4 hours long!
32.   Apparently, according to Oxford Publishers; Ireland is primarily Hindu!?
33.   In spite of the various differences and (ahem) inconveniences; you are still guaranteed a life-changing experience, that you’ll never forget :)